Pictured Above: shameless, hate-mongering filthI present to you my first example of startling critical insight: an expose on that hack F. Scott Fitzgerald.
Waste of Time and a pointless Read
When I first read this book, I thought it was very bad. Then in class it caught my interest again. I do not know why. I wasted much time reading critical appraisals, but they are all junk. So is this book. I don't care what anybody says there are *SEVERAL* parts that *DO* seem to be "scribbled drunk" and are nearly unintelligible. The book is filled with all kinds of errors, particuliarly chronological. There is also plenty of *PREJUDICE* and *RACISM* in this book. Wolfsheim is singled out as "a small, flat nosed Jew" despite the fact that he never mentions this. Nick also constantly refers to his "tragic nose". What garbage. Also when Tom talks about the "Superior Nordic Race nobody seems to care *IN THE LEAST* about the horrible things he is saying. Nick's maid is refered to as "my Finn", which is so racist as to be almost unintelligible. Daisy and Gatsby are proposterous characters. The idea that they can never get together *MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE WHATSOEVER*. I don't care about society standards that is completely ridiculous. That Daisy would even think of staying with Tom dates this book *HORRIBLY* at the very least and more realitically turns into *A VIRTUAL CARTOON*. How and why Gatsby would do what he did is not believably in the least. Gatsby would never have gone to Oxford if he had truly cared about Daisy. The Confrontation makes absolutely no sense. Tom calls Gatsby a bootlegger with a drink in his hand. That is *THE WEAKEST WRITING I HAVE EVER SEEN.* Don't bother to read this book.
Did you know that the plot isn’t in the right order?! And the characters are racist?! How DARE the author fail to correct those fictional peoples’ make-believe prejudices and synchronize their pretend actions with the Navy Master clock!
This great mind not only summoned up the courage to contradict 80 years of critical praise, but the style of writing clearly shows that such bravery was entirely selfless. For example, notice the subtle use of the caps lock key that ever so slightly draws the reader’s eye to the important parts of the review. The reviewer even sacrifices his/her credibility for the sake of the reader's well-being, artfully misspelling “particularly” after pointing out Fitzgerald’s numerous errors, no doubt to provide an example of what those errors might look like. Zounds! This paragraph is practically drowning in helpful spelling examples!
Thank god there are reviewers like this in the world, standing vigil on the ramparts of Amazon.com, to save us from such morally-polluting filth.
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